It has become something of a routine and it was that time of the month again this morning.

“Wale, the DSTv subscription would be due tomorrow …”
I kept quiet.
“Daddy, mama said  …”
“I have heard !”cutting off my 5 year old son
“Okay, so how much are you contributing this time”, addressing my wife.
“I don’t have any money”
I kept quiet.

You see, in an average African family, the man is regarded as the breadwinner and he is expected to foot, at least, most of the bills. Expectedly, with this responsibility comes some deference and preferential treatment in the home. Like you get to eat the biggest pieces of meat in the pot (yeah, we are still carnivores here), you get to have a final word on some (emphasis on Some, not all) issues, you do not have to do any house hold chores, ..

But one thing that has always bothered me is the Cable TV (DSTV) remote control. Who does the TV remote belong to? I do not think it is out of place for the man to own the remote, afterall he pays for it. Unfortunately, the reality is far from that. In my home, over time, i have been relegated to my man cave, with absolutely no claim to the TV remote. So much for “paying the piper and dictating the tune” you would say! But, really, i kind of think i am not alone in this. Why should we men continue to pay for what we do not enjoy?!

Three camps have been formed;

Camp 1 – The Wifey : Preference for E! Entertainment and any of those gossip channels, with a dose of the crime channels. Ummh. 😡
Camp 2 – The Boys : Cartoon channels, with preference for the one with blinding loud colours, Disney Junior Channel. Even my 16 month old son is already into Mickey Mouse; Miska Muska Mickeyyyy Mouse!!! Aaaaargghhhh!!!!
Camp 3 – Yours Truly : News & documentary channels. And no, i don’t do sports!

The few times i have put my foot down and insisted on watching my channels, it is usually with much discomfort. My kids have a way of making you feel very guilty. Within minutes, i hand back the remote and retire to the safety of my man cave. If only i had enough money for one of those dual channel subscriptions. 🙁

Oh well, i guess the battle is for another day. Where is my bank card?